The flag theory states: Go, where you are treated best.
The flag theory applied to dating states:
Go, where the highest quality women will find you the most attractive.
An observation: It’s easier to date higher quality women abroad than in your home country
Almost everybody who has left their home country and visited different countries with different cultures has felt the phenomenon:
It’s often much easier to meet and date much hotter (and in general higher quality) women than in your home country.
That’s a fact.
And there are two sides to this equation.
On the one hand, we will often perceive a higher percentage of the women there as being extraordinarily attractive. This is a quite subjective assessment, as we will soon see.
On the other hand, the women we find attractive respond to us much more favorably than women of the same level of hotness in our own country would.
What are the reasons for that?
Reason #1: We are drawn to the rare and exotic
By hopping on an airplane and landing in a new country with a new culture and a different genetic pool, all of a sudden you are surrounded by women that are highly exotic and novel to you. Exchange blond hair for black hair and light skin for darker skin, and voila.
At the same time, you just made yourself become a rare diamond at that place. Women’s reticular activation system will pick up on you in almost any situation.
The street, the club, the supermarket, you’re getting noticed without doing anything. Sometimes it’s freaky how easy someone from a different country can be spotted, at a place that hasn’t yet seem much tourism.
And the novelty extends beyond just physical appearance.
Everything about the women you meet is different. Their cultural upbringing, what music they listen to, what games they played as children, their favorite foods, they will be able to tell you a million stories that will be so outside of what you have experienced before.
And of course, this goes both ways. Almost any story you tell will be rooted in the specific culture of your home country and therefore be different, exotic and more interesting.
There might even be a deep evolutionary element to all of this.
Generally, nature tries to achieve genetic variety. Children from parents with a higher genetic variation on average tend to be more healthy. Rats can apparently smell when a potential mating partner is sick, and prevent themselves from mating. This might be another reason why there is a higher level of attraction on both sides.
What are the benefits of dating women abroad?
You will date women that you personally find more attractive.
The women you date will find you more attractive.
You will have a wider variety of experiences and stories to share.
What are the downsides of dating someone from a different culture?
Arguments or conflicts that arise from different cultural norms
How your children can benefit from genetic arbitrage
There are several ways in which choosing a partner from a different country and culture as the mother of your children can be beneficial for them.
Reason #1: Better health through an increased genetic variety
In general higher genetic variety increases the overall health and survivability of offspring. And while this is anecdotal: Children from mixed parents also have a reputation for often being exceptionally good looking.
There are also specific traits that you can pass onto your children. A slight African influence tends to improve the complexion of the skin. But careful, too much and your daughter mind end up with fucked up hair.
If you want a son that has a higher chance of breaking athletic records, you probably should add specific darker genes into the mix (mostly from western Africa, but you will those also in South America).
If you’re going for IQ: Southeast Asians score on average a few IQ points higher than western Europeans, while Africans score lower.
So whatever you’re going for, pick your partner wisely (this rule applies universally of course).
Reason #2: Raising polylingual children
Teaching children not one but several languages in the first years of their life is a huge advantage. Now you can (and should) manage to do this even if your partner speaks the same language as you. But it’s so much easier if the mother of your children speaks a different language. You teach them German, she teaches them Spanish or Portuguese and they go to an English kindergarten and school. Amazing.
Reason #3: Exposing your children early to different cultural influences
You and your partner will have strong connections to at least two different cultures, countries or even continents.That will naturally expose your children to a wider variety of cultural influences. You might even naturally raise them in more than one country, widening these influence further.
Children who spend a significant amount of their developmental years in different cultures are often referred to as “Third culture kids (TCKs)”.
There can be challenges of this way of upbringing. But properly managed there are considerable, proven benefits.
Those include an expanded worldview, interpersonal sensitivity, cultural intelligence, higher levels of general exposure and of course speaking several languages natively.
Reason #4: Multiple passports and citizenships
Certain countries automatically grant citizenship to children born on its territory, no matter the citizenship of the parents.Most countries will automatically grant citizenship to any child of a citizen of their country.Combined in a smart way, you can give your child immediate access to one of the most difficult flags to acquire: Multiple citizenships.
In some cases you can even leverage this to get yourself a 2nd passport. When children get naturalized, there is often a shortcut for the parents to get citizenship as well.
So, what are the downsides?
Of course there are not only upsides.
Even when you are able to communicate effectively in a language, it takes an extra amount of time until you can do so on a deep emotional level, pick up on subtle cues, use humour and make jokes.
That means initially a certain level of the communication will get lost. Things can get complicated at times because of that.
You might use this as additional motivation, to really immerse yourself in that language and culture however.
The biggest mistake to avoid, when using genetic arbitrage
The biggest mistake I see guys making when meeting women abroad:
They use it as a crutch. Instead of raising their standards, and getting much hotter women, they settle on getting the same quality women, but easier.
Just to make this clear: The point is not to have to stop putting any effort in. The goal is to increase your results while maintaining or even increasing your already high efforts. You should always try to get the hottest girls, period.
You should set your goals even higher when you get here. You should try to date the hottest girls your new location has to offer. You have an advantage, use it! Dating the same level of girl WHILE profiting from genetic arbitrage is beyond pathetic.
To give an example.
Most guys are familiar with the 1-10 rating scale.
A 5 is a very average woman. Basically, you shouldn’t date 5s.
A 6 is a girl that you could potentially go out with (but not date long-term).
Now, this is the phenomenon I see a lot. A guy has been very inconsistent at meeting 6s or even 5s in his home country. I will pick Germany. Now he moves or temporarily resides in a different country. Let’s pick Colombia since I have personal experience here.
Now in Colombia he can all of a sudden consistently date 6s. Okay-looking women. They might even be slightly hotter in comparison to the girls he dated in Germany (the scale has to get normalized by what’s normal in that country).
Nevertheless, he settles for the same level of girls in Colombia. For an otherwise successful guy, this would be barely tolerable in Germany. In Colombia however, it’s brutal. An absolute fail. You have the unique opportunity of the 21st century that still is only open to a handful of guys, and you blew it.
You want to add at least one to three base points in the new country, depending on location. Otherwise, what’s the point?
Don’t settle! There is no excuse for dating fatties!
The traps to be aware of when meeting women abroad
Besides failing to pus
Trap #1: Going out with gold diggers
In poorer countries, you need to pay attention not to waste your time with girls that are dating/going out with you just because of your money.
This happens consistently to guys with no game, old guys, or the absolute worst case:
Old guys with no game (seriously, you had 50 years to figure this shit out, what the hell have you been doing?).
If you are not a total loser when it comes to your business and career, and this happens to you on a regular basis, it should serve as an indicator that you have some personal development work to do. Do some soul searching, start reading books, work on yourself or get a coach (shoot me an email if you need pointers).
Trap #2: Dating “Gringo hunters”
There are girls who only go out with buff guys, only go out with tall guys, or only go out with red-haired guys. And there are also girls that really only care about the fact that you are a foreigner. I call them “Gringo hunters”. While this certainly can be fun (for a while), most guys long-term will not get much out of it emotionally. Any other foreigner can take your place, because it’s not so much about your personality or anything else you bring to the table, except for the fact that you’re not a local.
Btw. If you’re (german speaking and) interested in learning how to become more successful with women, you should check out the immersive content from Authentic Charisma.